ctober
arrived, spreading a damp chill over the grounds and into
the castle. Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, was kept busy by a
sudden spate of colds among the staff and students. Her
Pepperup potion worked instantly, though it left the
drinker smoking at the ears for several hours afterward.
Ginny Weasley, who had been looking pale, was bullied into
taking some by Percy. The steam pouring from under her
vivid hair gave the impression that her whole head was on
fire.
Raindrops the size of bullets thundered on the castle
windows for days on end; the lake rose, the flower beds
turned into muddy streams, and Hagrid's pumpkins swelled
to the size of garden sheds. Oliver Wood's enthusiasm for
regular training sessions, however, was not dampened,
which was why Harry was to be found, late one stormy
Saturday afternoon a few days before Halloween, returning
to Gryffindor Tower, drenched to the skin and splattered
with mud.
Even aside from the rain and wind it hadn't been a
happy practice session. Fred and George, who had been
spying on the Slytherin team, had seen for themselves the
speed of those new Nimbus Two Thousand and Ones. They
reported that the Slytherin team was no more than seven
greenish blurs, shooting through the air like missiles.
As Harry squelched along the deserted corridor he came
across somebody who looked just as preoccupied as he was.
Nearly Headless Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor Tower, was
staring morosely out of a window, muttering under his
breath, ". . . don't fulfill their requirements . . .
half an inch, if that . . ."
"Hello, Nick," said Harry.
"Hello, hello," said Nearly Headless Nick,
starting and looking round. He wore a dashing, plumed hat
on his long curly hair, and a tunic with a ruff, which
concealed the fact that his neck was almost completely
severed. He was pale as smoke, and Harry could see right
through him to the dark sky and torrential rain outside.
"You look troubled, young Potter," said Nick,
folding a transparent letter as he spoke and tucking it
inside his doublet.
"So do you," said Harry.
"Ah," Nearly Headless Nick waved an elegant
hand, "a matter of no importance. . . . It's not as
though I really wanted to join. . . . Thought I'd apply,
but apparently I 'don't fulfill requirements' —"
In spite of his airy tone, there was a look of great
bitterness on his face.
"But you would think, wouldn't you," he
erupted suddenly, pulling the letter back out of his
pocket, "that getting hit forty-five times in the
neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the
Headless Hunt?"
"Oh — yes," said Harry, who was obviously
supposed to agree.
"I mean, nobody wishes more than I do that it had
all been quick and clean, and my head had come off
properly, I mean, it would have saved me a great deal of
pain and ridicule. However —" Nearly Headless Nick
shook his letter open and read furiously: "'We can
only accept huntsmen whose heads have parted company with
their bodies. You will appreciate that it would be
impossible otherwise for members to participate in hunt
activities such as Horseback Head-Juggling and Head Polo.
It is with the greatest regret, therefore, that I must
inform you that you do not fulfill our requirements. With
very best wishes, Sir Patrick Delaney-Podmore.'"
Fuming, Nearly Headless Nick stuffed the letter away.
"Half an inch of skin and sinew holding my neck
on, Harry! Most people would think that's good and
beheaded, but oh, no, it's not enough for Sir Properly
Decapitated-Podmore."
Nearly Headless Nick took several deep breaths and then
said, in a far calmer tone, "So — what's bothering
you? Anything I can do?"
"No," said Harry. "Not unless you know
where we can get seven free Nimbus Two Thousand and Ones
for our match against Sly —"
The rest of Harry's sentence was drowned out by a
high-pitched mewling from somewhere near his ankles. He
looked down and found himself gazing into a pair of
lamp-like yellow eyes. It was Mrs. Norris, the skeletal
gray cat who was used by the caretaker, Argus Filch, as a
sort of deputy in his endless battle against students.
"You'd better get out of here, Harry," said
Nick quickly. "Filch isn't in a good mood — he's
got the flu and some third years accidentally plastered
frog brains all over the ceiling in dungeon five. He's
been cleaning all morning, and if he sees you dripping mud
all over the place —"
"Right," said Harry, backing away from the
accusing stare of Mrs. Norris, but not quickly enough.
Drawn to the spot by the mysterious power that seemed to
connect him with his foul cat, Argus Filch burst suddenly
through a tapestry to Harry's right, wheezing and looking
wildly about for the rule-breaker. There was a thick
tartan scarf bound around his head, and his nose was
unusually purple.
"Filth!" he shouted, his jowls aquiver, his
eyes popping alarmingly as he pointed at the muddy puddle
that had dripped from Harry's Quidditch robes. "Mess
and muck everywhere! I've had enough of it, I tell you!
Follow me, Potter!"
So Harry waved a gloomy good-bye to Nearly Headless
Nick and followed Filch back downstairs, doubling the
number of muddy footprints on the floor.
Harry had never been inside Filch's office before; it
was a place most students avoided. The room was dingy and
windowless, lit by a single oil lamp dangling from the low
ceiling. A faint smell of fried fish lingered about the
place. Wooden filing cabinets stood around the walls; from
their labels, Harry could see that they contained details
of every pupil Filch had ever punished. Fred and George
Weasley had an entire drawer to themselves. A highly
polished collection of chains and manacles hung on the
wall behind Filch's desk. It was common knowledge that he
was always begging Dumbledore to let him suspend students
by their ankles from the ceiling.
Filch grabbed a quill from a pot on his desk and began
shuffling around looking for parchment.
"Dung," he muttered furiously, "great
sizzling dragon bogies . . . frog brains . . . rat
intestines . . . I've had enough of it . . . make an
example . . . where's the form . . . yes . . ."
He retrieved a large roll of parchment from his desk
drawer and stretched it out in front of him, dipping his
long black quill into the ink pot.
"Name . . . Harry Potter. Crime . . ."
"It was only a bit of mud!" said Harry.
"It's only a bit of mud to you, boy, but to me
it's an extra hour scrubbing!" shouted Filch, a drip
shivering unpleasantly at the end of his bulbous nose.
"Crime . . . befouling the castle . . . suggested
sentence . . ."
Dabbing at his streaming nose, Filch squinted
unpleasantly at Harry who waited with bated breath for his
sentence to fall.
But as Filch lowered his quill, there was a great BANG!
on the ceiling of the office, which made the oil lamp
rattle.
"PEEVES!" Filch roared, flinging down his
quill in a transport of rage. "I'll have you this
time, I'll have you!"
And without a backward glance at Harry, Filch ran
flat-footed from the office, Mrs. Norris streaking
alongside him.
Peeves was the school poltergeist, a grinning, airborne
menace who lived to cause havoc and distress. Harry didn't
much like Peeves, but couldn't help feeling grateful for
his timing. Hopefully, whatever Peeves had done (and it
sounded as though he'd wrecked something very big this
time) would distract Filch from Harry.
Thinking that he should probably wait for Filch to come
back, Harry sank into a moth-eaten chair next to the desk.
There was only one thing on it apart from his
half-completed form: a large, glossy, purple envelope with
silver lettering on the front. With a quick glance at the
door to check that Filch wasn't on his way back, Harry
picked up the envelope and read: kwikspell A
Correspondence Course in Beginners' Magic
Intrigued, Harry flicked the envelope open and pulled
out the sheaf of parchment inside. More curly silver
writing on the front page said: Feel out of step in the
world of modern magic? Find yourself making excuses not to
perform simple spells? Ever been taunted for your woeful
wandwork? There is an answer! Kwikspell is an all-new,
fail-safe, quick-result, easy-learn course. Hundreds of
witches and wizards have benefited from the Kwikspell
method! Madam Z. Nettles of Topsham writes: "I had no
memory for incantations and my potions were a family joke!
Now, after a Kwikspell course, I am the center of
attention at parties and friends beg for the recipe of my
Scintillation Solution!" Warlock D. J. Prod of
Didsbury says: "My wife used to sneer at my feeble
charms, but one month into your fabulous Kwikspell course
and I succeeded in turning her into a yak! Thank you,
Kwikspell!"
Fascinated, Harry thumbed through the rest of the
envelope's contents. Why on earth did Filch want a
Kwikspell course? Did this mean he wasn't a proper wizard?
Harry was just reading "Lesson One: Holding Your Wand
(Some Useful Tips)" when shuffling footsteps outside
told him Filch was coming back. Stuffing the parchment
back into the envelope, Harry threw it back onto the desk
just as the door opened.
Filch was looking triumphant.
"That vanishing cabinet was extremely
valuable!" he was saying gleefully to Mrs. Norris.
"We'll have Peeves out this time, my sweet —"
His eyes fell on Harry and then darted to the Kwikspell
envelope, which, Harry realized too late, was lying two
feet away from where it had started.
Filch's pasty face went brick red. Harry braced himself
for a tidal wave of fury. Filch hobbled across to his
desk, snatched up the envelope, and threw it into a
drawer.
"Have you — did you read —?" he
sputtered.
"No," Harry lied quickly.
Filch's knobbly hands were twisting together.
"If I thought you'd read my private — not that
it's mine — for a friend — be that as it may —
however —"
Harry was staring at him, alarmed; Filch had never
looked madder. His eyes were popping, a tic was going in
one of his pouchy cheeks, and the tartan scarf didn't
help.
"Very well — go — and don't breathe a word —
not that — however, if you didn't read — go now, I
have to write up Peeves' report — go —"
Amazed at his luck, Harry sped out of the office, up
the corridor, and back upstairs. To escape from Filch's
office without punishment was probably some kind of school
record.
"Harry! Harry! Did it work?"
Nearly Headless Nick came gliding out of a classroom.
Behind him, Harry could see the wreckage of a large
black-and-gold cabinet that appeared to have been dropped
from a great height.
"I persuaded Peeves to crash it right over Filch's
office," said Nick eagerly. "Thought it might
distract him —"
"Was that you?" said Harry gratefully.
"Yeah, it worked, I didn't even get detention.
Thanks, Nick!"
They set off up the corridor together. Nearly Headless
Nick, Harry noticed, was still holding Sir Patrick's
rejection letter.
"I wish there was something I could do for you
about the Headless Hunt," Harry said.
Nearly Headless Nick stopped in his tracks and Harry
walked right through him. He wished he hadn't; it was like
stepping through an icy shower.
"But there is something you could do for me,"
said Nick excitedly. "Harry — would I be asking too
much — but no, you wouldn't want —"
"What is it?" said Harry.
"Well, this Halloween will be my five hundredth
deathday," said Nearly Headless Nick, drawing himself
up and looking dignified.
"Oh," said Harry, not sure whether he should
look sorry or happy about this. "Right."
"I'm holding a party down in one of the roomier
dungeons. Friends will be coming from all over the
country. It would be such an honor if you would attend.
Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger would be most welcome, too,
of course — but I daresay you'd rather go to the school
feast?" He watched Harry on tenterhooks.
"No," said Harry quickly, "I'll come
—"
"My dear boy! Harry Potter, at my deathday party!
And" — he hesitated, looking excited — "do
you think you could possibly mention to Sir Patrick how
very frightening and impressive you find me?"
"Of — of course," said Harry.
Nearly Headless Nick beamed at him. "A deathday
party?" said Hermione keenly when Harry had changed
at last and joined her and Ron in the common room. "I
bet there aren't many living people who can say they've
been to one of those — it'll be fascinating!"
"Why would anyone want to celebrate the day they
died?" said Ron, who was halfway through his Potions
homework and grumpy. "Sounds dead depressing to me. .
. ."
Rain was still lashing the windows, which were now inky
black, but inside all looked bright and cheerful. The
firelight glowed over the countless squashy armchairs
where people sat reading, talking, doing homework or, in
the case of Fred and George Weasley, trying to find out
what would happen if you fed a Filibuster firework to a
salamander. Fred had "rescued" the brilliant
orange, fire-dwelling lizard from a Care of Magical
Creatures class and it was now smouldering gently on a
table surrounded by a knot of curious people.
Harry was at the point of telling Ron and Hermione
about Filch and the Kwikspell course when the salamander
suddenly whizzed into the air, emitting loud sparks and
bangs as it whirled wildly round the room. The sight of
Percy bellowing himself hoarse at Fred and George, the
spectacular display of tangerine stars showering from the
salamander's mouth, and its escape into the fire, with
accompanying explosions, drove both Filch and the
Kwikspell envelope from Harry's mind. By the time
Halloween arrived, Harry was regretting his rash promise
to go to the deathday party. The rest of the school was
happily anticipating their Halloween feast; the Great Hall
had been decorated with the usual live bats, Hagrid's vast
pumpkins had been carved into lanterns large enough for
three men to sit in, and there were rumors that Dumbledore
had booked a troupe of dancing skeletons for the
entertainment.
"A promise is a promise," Hermione reminded
Harry bossily. "You said you'd go to the deathday
party."
So at seven o'clock, Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked
straight past the doorway to the packed Great Hall, which
was glittering invitingly with gold plates and candles,
and directed their steps instead toward the dungeons.
The passageway leading to Nearly Headless Nick's party
had been lined with candles, too, though the effect was
far from cheerful: These were long, thin, jet-black
tapers, all burning bright blue, casting a dim, ghostly
light even over their own living faces. The temperature
dropped with every step they took. As Harry shivered and
drew his robes tightly around him, he heard what sounded
like a thousand fingernails scraping an enormous
blackboard.
"Is that supposed to be music?" Ron
whispered. They turned a corner and saw Nearly Headless
Nick standing at a doorway hung with black velvet drapes.
"My dear friends," he said mournfully.
"Welcome, welcome . . . so pleased you could come. .
. ."
He swept off his plumed hat and bowed them inside.
It was an incredible sight. The dungeon was full of
hundreds of pearly-white, translucent people, mostly
drifting around a crowded dance floor, waltzing to the
dreadful, quavering sound of thirty musical saws, played
by an orchestra on a raised, black-draped platform. A
chandelier overhead blazed midnight-blue with a thousand
more black candles. Their breath rose in a mist before
them; it was like stepping into a freezer.
"Shall we have a look around?" Harry
suggested, wanting to warm up his feet.
"Careful not to walk through anyone," said
Ron nervously, and they set off around the edge of the
dance floor. They passed a group of gloomy nuns, a ragged
man wearing chains, and the Fat Friar, a cheerful
Hufflepuff ghost, who was talking to a knight with an
arrow sticking out of his forehead. Harry wasn't surprised
to see that the Bloody Baron, a gaunt, staring Slytherin
ghost covered in silver bloodstains, was being given a
wide berth by the other ghosts.
"Oh, no," said Hermione, stopping abruptly.
"Turn back, turn back, I don't want to talk to
Moaning Myrtle —"
"Who?" said Harry as they backtracked
quickly.
"She haunts one of the toilets in the girls'
bathroom on the first floor," said Hermione.
"She haunts a toilet?"
"Yes. It's been out-of-order all year because she
keeps having tantrums and flooding the place. I never went
in there anyway if I could avoid it; it's awful trying to
have a pee with her wailing at you —"
"Look, food!" said Ron.
On the other side of the dungeon was a long table, also
covered in black velvet. They approached it eagerly but
next moment had stopped in their tracks, horrified. The
smell was quite disgusting. Large, rotten fish were laid
on handsome silver platters; cakes, burned charcoal-black,
were heaped on salvers; there was a great maggoty haggis,
a slab of cheese covered in furry green mold and, in pride
of place, an enormous gray cake in the shape of a
tombstone, with tar-like icing forming the words, Sir
Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington died 31st October, 1492
Harry watched, amazed, as a portly ghost approached the
table, crouched low, and walked through it, his mouth held
wide so that it passed through one of the stinking salmon.
"Can you taste it if you walk though it?"
Harry asked him.
"Almost," said the ghost sadly, and he
drifted away.
"I expect they've let it rot to give it a stronger
flavor," said Hermione knowledgeably, pinching her
nose and leaning closer to look at the putrid haggis.
"Can we move? I feel sick," said Ron.
They had barely turned around, however, when a little
man swooped suddenly from under the table and came to a
halt in midair before them.
"Hello, Peeves," said Harry cautiously.
Unlike the ghosts around them, Peeves the Poltergeist
was the very reverse of pale and transparent. He was
wearing a bright orange party hat, a revolving bow tie,
and a broad grin on his wide, wicked face.
"Nibbles?" he said sweetly, offering them a
bowl of peanuts covered in fungus.
"No thanks," said Hermione.
"Heard you talking about poor Myrtle," said
Peeves, his eyes dancing. "Rude you was about poor
Myrtle." He took a deep breath and bellowed, "OY!
MYRTLE!"
"Oh, no, Peeves, don't tell her what I said,
she'll be really upset," Hermione whispered
frantically. "I didn't mean it, I don't mind her - er,
hello, Myrtle."
The squat ghost of a girl had glided over. She had the
glummest face Harry had ever seen, half-hidden behind lank
hair and thick, pearly spectacles.
"What?" she said sulkily.
"How are you, Myrtle?" said Hermione in a
falsely bright voice. "It's nice to see you out of
the toilet."
Myrtle sniffed.
"Miss Granger was just talking about you —"
said Peeves slyly in Myrtle's ear.
"Just saying — saying — how nice you look
tonight," said Hermione, glaring at Peeves.
Myrtle eyed Hermione suspiciously.
"You're making fun of me," she said, silver
tears welling rapidly in her small, see-through eyes.
"No — honestly — didn't I just say how nice
Myrtle's looking?" said Hermione, nudging Harry and
Ron painfully in the ribs.
"Oh, yeah —"
"She did —"
"Don't lie to me," Myrtle gasped, tears now
flooding down her face, while Peeves chuckled happily over
her shoulder. "D'you think I don't know what people
call me behind my back? Fat Myrtle! Ugly Myrtle!
Miserable, moaning, moping Myrtle!"
"You've forgotten pimply," Peeves hissed in
her ear.
Moaning Myrtle burst into anguished sobs and fled from
the dungeon. Peeves shot after her, pelting her with moldy
peanuts, yelling, "Pimply! Pimply!"
"Oh, dear," said Hermione sadly.
Nearly Headless Nick now drifted toward them through
the crowd.
"Enjoying yourselves?"
"Oh, yes," they lied.
"Not a bad turnout," said Nearly Headless
Nick proudly. "The Wailing Widow came all the way up
from Kent. . . . It's nearly time for my speech, I'd
better go and warn the orchestra. . . ."
The orchestra, however, stopped playing at that very
moment. They, and everyone else in the dungeon, fell
silent, looking around in excitement, as a hunting horn
sounded.
"Oh, here we go," said Nearly Headless Nick
bitterly.
Through the dungeon wall burst a dozen ghost horses,
each ridden by a headless horseman. The assembly clapped
wildly; Harry started to clap, too, but stopped quickly at
the sight of Nick's face.
The horses galloped into the middle of the dance floor
and halted, rearing and plunging. At the front of the pack
was a large ghost who held his bearded head under his arm,
from which position he was blowing the horn. The ghost
leapt down, lifted his head high in the air so he could
see over the crowd (everyone laughed), and strode over to
Nearly Headless Nick, squashing his head back onto his
neck.
"Nick!" he roared. "How are you? Head
still hanging in there?"
He gave a hearty guffaw and clapped Nearly Headless
Nick on the shoulder.
"Welcome, Patrick," said Nick stiffly.
"Live 'uns!" said Sir Patrick, spotting
Harry, Ron, and Hermione and giving a huge, fake jump of
astonishment, so that his head fell off again (the crowd
howled with laughter).
"Very amusing," said Nearly Headless Nick
darkly.
"Don't mind Nick!" shouted Sir Patrick's head
from the floor. "Still upset we won't let him join
the Hunt! But I mean to say — look at the fellow -"
"I think," said Harry hurriedly, at a
meaningful look from Nick, "Nick's very —
frightening and — er —"
"Ha!" yelled Sir Patrick's head. "Bet he
asked you to say that!"
"If I could have everyone's attention, it's time
for my speech!" said Nearly Headless Nick loudly,
striding toward the podium and climbing into an icy blue
spotlight.
"My late lamented lords, ladies, and gentlemen, it
is my great sorrow . . ."
But nobody heard much more. Sir Patrick and the rest of
the Headless Hunt had just started a game of Head Hockey
and the crowd were turning to watch. Nearly Headless Nick
tried vainly to recapture his audience, but gave up as Sir
Patrick's head went sailing past him to loud cheers.
Harry was very cold by now, not to mention hungry.
"I can't stand much more of this," Ron
muttered, his teeth chattering, as the orchestra ground
back into action and the ghosts swept back onto the dance
floor.
"Let's go," Harry agreed.
They backed toward the door, nodding and beaming at
anyone who looked at them, and a minute later were
hurrying back up the passageway full of black candles.
"Pudding might not be finished yet," said Ron
hopefully, leading the way toward the steps to the
entrance hall.
And then Harry heard it.
". . . rip . . . tear . . . kill . . ."
It was the same voice, the same cold, murderous voice
he had heard in Lockhart's office.
He stumbled to a halt, clutching at the stone wall,
listening with all his might, looking around, squinting up
and down the dimly lit passageway.
"Harry, what're you —?"
"It's that voice again — shut up a minute
—"
". . . soo hungry . . . for so long . . ."
"Listen!" said Harry urgently, and Ron and
Hermione froze, watching him.
". . . kill . . . time to kill . . ."
The voice was growing fainter. Harry was sure it was
moving away — moving upward. A mixture of fear and
excitement gripped him as he stared at the dark ceiling;
how could it be moving upward? Was it a phantom, to whom
stone ceilings didn't matter?
"This way," he shouted, and he began to run,
up the stairs, into the entrance hall. It was no good
hoping to hear anything here, the babble of talk from the
Halloween feast was echoing out of the Great Hall. Harry
sprinted up the marble staircase to the first floor, Ron
and Hermione clattering behind him.
"Harry, what're we —"
"SHH!"
Harry strained his ears. Distantly, from the floor
above, and growing fainter still, he heard the voice:
". . . I smell blood. . . . I SMELL BLOOD!"
His stomach lurched —
"It's going to kill someone!" he shouted, and
ignoring Ron's and Hermione's bewildered faces, he ran up
the next flight of steps three at a time, trying to listen
over his own pounding footsteps —
Harry hurtled around the whole of the second floor, Ron
and Hermione panting behind him, not stopping until they
turned a corner into the last, deserted passage.
"Harry, what was that all about?" said Ron,
wiping sweat off his face. "I couldn't hear anything.
. . ."
But Hermione gave a sudden gasp, pointing down the
corridor.
"Look!"
Something was shining on the wall ahead. They
approached slowly, squinting through the darkness.
Foot-high words had been daubed on the wall between two
windows, shimmering in the light cast by the flaming
torches. the chamber of secrets has been opened. enemies
of the heir, beware.
"What's that thing — hanging underneath?"
said Ron, a slight quiver in his voice.
As they edged nearer, Harry almost slipped — there
was a large puddle of water on the floor; Ron and Hermione
grabbed him, and they inched toward the message, eyes
fixed on a dark shadow beneath it. All three of them
realized what it was at once, and leapt backward with a
splash.
Mrs. Norris, the caretaker's cat, was hanging by her
tail from the torch bracket. She was stiff as a board, her
eyes wide and staring.
For a few seconds, they didn't move. Then Ron said,
"Let's get out of here."
"Shouldn't we try and help —" Harry began
awkwardly.
"Trust me," said Ron. "We don't want to
be found here."
But it was too late. A rumble, as though of distant
thunder, told them that the feast had just ended. From
either end of the corridor where they stood came the sound
of hundreds of feet climbing the stairs, and the loud,
happy talk of well-fed people; next moment, students were
crashing into the passage from both ends.
The chatter, the bustle, the noise died suddenly as the
people in front spotted the hanging cat. Harry, Ron, and
Hermione stood alone, in the middle of the corridor, as
silence fell among the mass of students pressing forward
to see the grisly sight.
Then someone shouted through the quiet.
"Enemies of the Heir, beware! You'll be next,
Mudbloods!"
It was Draco Malfoy. He had pushed to the front of the
crowd, his cold eyes alive, his usually bloodless face
flushed, as he grinned at the sight of the hanging,
immobile cat.